The “Cursed Hows”

One of the things that really agitate some people when they’re trying to manifest anything is the question of how it’s going to happen.

Because really when you think about it, if you’re trying to manifest a new job, or a great deal of money, or a new relationship, say, and your circumstances feel hopeless, or the outcome seems improbable, the lack of belief in the possibility of getting what you want can be so strong that it completely impedes the process.

Yet there’s an arrogance here in the assumption that we can second guess the universe, and how it operates. You simply can’t.

Video: How To Define What You Want To Make Manifest

The universe actually has the power to deliver anything that you want, no matter how improbable it might seem – because every possibility that you can imagine, no matter how unlikely it may seem, can be delivered to you if your belief is complete and total, and the energy you put into the process of manifestation sufficiently high.

Yet people continue to manifest in a way that makes their outcome dependent on someone else’s behavior.

There are two reasons for this: first of all somebody – and that somebody might be you – have pinned all their hopes on trying to change someone else’s behavior. A lot of people make this mistake when they are trying to get a relationship.

For example, you might believe that if only somebody else could see the light, and change what they’re doing, then your life might blast off. If somebody else could see what was so obviously right (in the way that you can so clearly see what’s right for them!) then you might get the job you desire, you might get the relationship that you want, and your investments might take off….

But here’s the thing: that’s not how manifestation works. To start with, those people might have a different objective to you, which is in direct conflict with your outcome. And secondly, you can’t rely on influencing somebody else’s thoughts feelings and behavior.

While this is possible, it’s like “putting all your eggs in one basket” – except that in this case the basket doesn’t even belong to you. (Thanks to Mike Dooley for that beautiful way of putting it!)

The truth is that if you go about manifestation like this, you’re not going to get any consistent kind of success, and even if you are able to influence others, which is possible by the way, you may find that your outcomes don’t stick. Because as soon as somebody puts himself first, and discovers that what they really want is not what you want, then they’re likely to go off and leave you floundering.

And as those who are expert in manifestation and using the Law of attraction can confirm, when something is obtained in this way, there are likely to be other impacts on you beside getting your desired outcome. For example you may find that you are in a relationship, and you may find you’re in a relationship with the person that you wanted – but over the weeks and months, you may discover that there are some serious side-effects you hadn’t anticipated.

Perhaps that person turns out not be honest and trustworthy, or perhaps that person cheats you.

You see the thing is this: in the first instance what you “should” have been programming for was simply to have a relationship that makes your heart sing with joy (or whatever criterion you’re applying to the your relationship) with the ideal person for you – one who can make you happy, and one whom you can make happy.

You see that this also avoids the problem of the “cursed hows”.

The Cursed Hows

Yet it can be a lot easier to believe that you can choose a particular individual and persuade them to join you in relationship than it is to believe that the universe can produce the partner who is going to make you happy and fulfilled.

We’re all used to working in a world where cause-and-effect determine – or seem to determine – every aspect of our lives, every day.

And we all think we know what’s best for ourselves! So if you have your eye on a particular person as a relationship partner, your objective might be to have that person join you in relationship. It might seem a logical choice, and it might seem to you to be easier than going for a vague concept of “an ideal partner”.

But you see what’s affecting you here is the concept of the cursed hows – in other words, you worrying about how the universe can possibly produce what you want.

And that’s where you’re making a mistake. You’re assuming that the universe doesn’t know how to produce what you want. Your even assuming that the universe can’t produce what you want.

And you’re assuming that from the limited perspective of your human viewpoint, which can’t see everything that the universal consciousness can see.

It’s attachment to the details of what you want that creates problems.

Video – Acquiring the experience of what you want to feel – an interesting viewpoint

Now suppose instead that you envision your future in terms of concepts and ideas rather than specific details and plans.

You could have a vision board, filled with pictures of things that you want to have in your life. So you could have a picture of a couple in a loving relationship – or some image that represents a loving relationship to you. You might have a picture of a specific type of car.

But again, if you’re attached to the details, you’re creating problems for yourself. The truth is you can’t use vision board that way – it’s purpose is to ramp up your energy and excitement around manifesting the bigger and more expansive experience of life that you’re trying to achieve.

In other words, don’t make the specifics, or the details in the pictures, on the vision board the be all and end all of everything that you’re trying to achieve.

In fact, these details shouldn’t be important in themselves. What they represent is a means of you feeling happier and more excited about the possibility of getting a different and bigger life. The possibility of getting the car you want, or the relationship you desire.

When you think about this in more detail, it’s obvious that there isn’t anything that you could really put on your vision board which in itself would create happiness – happiness is a concept, a state of being, and it certainly isn’t guaranteed by obtaining material assets. (See this interesting commentary on making things manifest.)

Surely a picture of you laughing with friends, people with whom you are truly intimate, and deeply connected, would mean far more to you than a picture of a new car, no matter how desirable it might seem?

I’m not saying that you can’t achieve specific objectives. Indeed, many people do. But keep in mind the possibility that it might be more useful for you to visualize happiness coming from a reliable career which fulfills you, or the fulfillment and joy which can come from a deep and intimate relationship, or the goods that you can do with your new found fortune.

It probably won’t have escaped your notice that when you start visualizing in this way, you can completely ignore the cursed hows – so that’s an act of faith on your part – and that the process actually begins to look more like some kind of spiritual exercise than a materialistic one.

And the interesting thing is that it also happens to be easier to visualize outcomes in this way since the credibility that you can bring to the process tends to be greater.

Even so it’s worth a word of warning: let’s say that you are visualizing the happiness and fulfillment that come from a deep and intimate relationship. Despite what I said above, the truth of the matter is that if you don’t believe that you’re worthy of a deep and fulfilling relationship, you can guarantee that you won’t get one, or that you’ll get a relationship which leads you back into the same dynamic as you’ve experienced in your previous ones.

Check out this link on what might be screwing up your manifesting.

We look more at this concept in the next post.